Talk to him about it.
Go with him to the councellor
Ask his friends what happened
Dont be hasty with the date for the marriage coz men who truly love dont end up getting lap dances
Judge him now before its too late and you end up getting divorced.
If you cannot trust him then it shows you are not ready but :
First:
GET THE TRUTH OUT FOR WHAT ITS WORTHWhen will I ever get over my fiance getting a lap dance?
I would be annoyed too if it was my fiance, boyfriend or husband, but unfortunately men are like this..they can do something like this and still think they are being faithful to their partner because 'that is different'
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It will last as long as you dwell on it. Yes to you it might have seemed right to do. but you need to remember, men don't think like we do. To him he probably feels like he did nothing wrong. As long as he never does it again during you marriage, get over it. If you harbor ill feelings about it, it will carry over into your marriage causing a strain. good luck
I think he believes a lap dance is nothing. He considers sex something. The truth is, these are the things he shouldn't be doing if he's truly in love with you. We as husbands should die for our wifes to all other women.
About the ';what do they do?';, in CA, they're not allowed to grind the genitals. I don't think they can even touch the other person. Doesn't make it right though.
You're thinking about it way too much. Lap dances are not that big of a deal, it's not like he cheated. You have to tell yourself it's no big deal, let him know you don't want him to get one ever again. And move on.
Well he lied to you once already so how can you trust him? He broke that trust and he should want to make it up to you not by going to another strip joint. My boyfriend and I have an understanding about strip joints I HATE THEM. There ain't nothing except nasty whores working there. If your old enough go with him and see what happens or spy on him. Cause it sounds like hes not being too faithful Sorry!!
Good luck girl!! Guys suck!!
Honestly, I would go get one yourself. That is the only way you're going to know just how impersonal it really is. The women who do this wouldn't recognize your fiance again if he smacked them in the face. All the men are to them is some money. I've seen it in clubs where the women go around and tell every man the same EXACT thing. That's classy alright. They do grind around ';in that area';, but it doesn't turn those women on at all.
As for him telling you it didn't happen...that is a completely seperate issue. I was married to a man for 12 years who every time he thought he was going to get in trouble for something, lied about it. I ended up feeling like he was insulting my intelligence. We've been divorced for 2 years...life has never been better.
You are right that a lap dance is not simply brushing against his legs, but no parts actually touch.
I would say that you should not worry about the lap dance. Worry if he is sleeping with other women. The lap dance may just have been a last hurrah before getting married.
Take care,
Troy
get a life...its over and he didn't actually penetrate, so no big deal!
Listen to your instincts.....he lied to you about a sexual experience.
I think I would postpone the wedding and go for some pre-Martial counseling to fix this otherwise your marriage will start out on the wrong foot.
Hey - my bf has went to strip clubs a few times with friends and they always get lap dances for each other. It's all for fun, it doesn't mean he wants to cheat. I know that the strippers may grind on them some but the guys aren't allowed to touch them. A group of us girls crashed one of their bachelor parties they had a strip club once, if you've never been, this wasn't as bad as I had imagined... it's really not something worth getting in a fight over. Now, him hiding it from you is another issue... the two of you just need to talk about it. I told my bf I wouldn't get mad about him going as long as he didn't lie to me about it. The only thing that I get upset about is the money he spends, I take his wallet, give him his ID and some cash so we eliminate that problem.. ;) If your really bothered by it, go to the club with him and some friends sometime... I actually had a blast the one time I went. My bf bought me a lap dance and it totally turned him on, we had GREAT sex that night!
You'll never get over your boyfriend being a moron.
Your man was fufilling a rites of passage that is encouraged by his rowdy male friends. This has been going on for ages. Now, you can allow this to ruin your entire future together, or, you can slip into something sexy, light a few candles, turn down the lights, pour some champagne, and show your man that you've got ALL the right moves. He's sure to be impressed, and any lingering thoughts that he may or may not have from that dreadful night will all but vanish into thin air. Remember, it is YOU that he wants by his side for all eternity, and your babies on his lap. For the sake of your relationship, let this go, before you drive him away with your jeolousy. Easier said than done, I know......but years from now, you will be glad that he got THAT out of his system before the wedding rather than after.
hey caroline
u need to ease up
u sound very processive
ok it bothers u but leave it alone
men go to strip joints
and they ask for a dance
thats all he didnt stick hi s co ck in her so relax
u should ask him to take u to a male show
then it will be even
I can't speak for that perticular one but at most strip clubs, the girls grind on a mans junk during a lap dance. Thats just how it goes. But you need to get over it. The girl didn't care one bit about your man, all she saw was his green cash. And it is no big deal, it's all in good fun. Maybe you should go with him so you can see for yourself, they are a lot of fun.
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